Are you ready for a long, cold, depressing winter?

Klonie Jordan

This time last year a friend and I had a brilliant notion.

We would take what we now jokingly refer to as “a winter motorcycle trip” to the mountains of Western North Carolina and North Georgia.

We rendezvoused in Dillard, Ga. (home of the famous Dillard House restaurant, where you don’t order anything specific because they bring you EVERYTHING that’s on the menu — literally) on a Friday afternoon and the plan was to do some serious bike riding on Saturday and Sunday.

When I left on that Friday afternoon the sun was shining and it was about 74 degrees. I had looked at the weekend weather forecast and knew it would get a bit cooler than that over the next two days, especially in the mountains.

The next day was more than a bit cooler — it was a LOT cooler as we left the motel in Dillard and made our way across the mountain into Highlands. On the other side we stopped to eat breakfast at a little fireplace-featured restaurant, then spent the next several hours exploring the many scenic waterfall stops in that part of the country, among them Bridal Veil Falls, which allows you to actually drive your vehicle underneath the waterfall.

We wound up on the Blue Ridge Parkway as darkness began to sneak up us. I can tell you for a fact that you don’t want to be at the highest point of the Parkway with nightfall nipping at your back tire in late November. We had a couple hours ride back to Dillard and it became very cold, frigid enough to cause my helmet face shield to frost over.

The next day it was just too cold to ride motorcycles, with or without heated handgrips and seats. On Monday morning as we prepared to head back, we had to break ice off our bikes before we could pack our saddlebags.

So what did we learn from this? Well, I learned that Highlands, Cashiers, Dillsboro, Dillard and the surrounding areas are some of the prettiest country around. I also learned it’s kind of difficult to enjoy the scenery when you’re trying to keep from freezing to death.

So now, 50 weeks later, my bikes are put up. I have settled them down for a long winter’s nap. They won’t see any pavement again until spring. They will join my golf clubs in that regard. Since they closed my golf course, I’ve pretty much lost interest in playing.

So what this translates into is me spending more weekend time with my lovely wife. Last weekend we spent the better part of Saturday on “leaf control.” Of course, a couple of days later, the yard looked just like it did before we started. We figure there will be at least two more extensive leaf removal efforts before we can say that pesky chore is officially over and done with for another year.

Late fall and winter are not my favorite times of year. Oh, I enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas and I absolutely LOVE college basketball, but once the new year begins, that 10-week period into the middle of March is pretty much “depression central” for me.

And just when you think it’s over, major league baseball season begins and being a Cincinnati Reds fan, I can tell you there’s nothing like watching these guys play to make the depression funk meter climb to unprecedented heights.

So there’s what I have to look forward to.

And just for fun I perused the Farmer’s Almanac and, guess what?

They’re predicting a harsh winter for these here parts. And it’s not going to start in the middle of January. I saw words like “snow” and “ice” and “arctic” used to describe weather patterns in early December.

So bundle up y’all and throw another log on the fire and if you have any anti-depression treatments, send them my way.

(Klonie Jordan is executive editor editor of The Gaffney Ledger. You can contact him via e-mail at klonie@gaffneyledger.com)