Kathy Mitchell

and Marcy Sugar

Wife has reason to be upset at hubby’s sleeping arrangement Dear Annie: My husband of 30 years recently confessed that while on a business trip overseas, a young woman was sent to his room to sleep with him. Rather than turn her away, he said he felt obligated to let her in. According to him, she spent the night in the same bed, but absolutely nothing happened. He confessed because he felt guilty, but also claims it was no big deal because there was no sex or anything.

I am really upset about this. He could have sent her away, or if he felt so sorry for her, he could have slept on the floor. I believe that nothing happened, but I find it incredible that after 30 years of marriage, he’d share his bed with a strange woman and then think it doesn’t merit discussion.

I really need some feedback on this.

— Disturbed Wife

Dear Disturbed: Your husband may have believed it would insult his business associates if he turned the woman away. However, there was no reason whatsoever for him to share his bed with her.

Of course it merits discussion. We admire your confidence in his fidelity, and think the least he can do is let you vent your hurt and disappointment, and do whatever is necessary to help you get past this.

Don’t intefere

Dear Annie: My wife, “Donna,” often takes her cousin, “Nan,” on trips with her. Nan can’t afford to travel, so Donna pays for everything — airfare, hotel, food, etc. We are not rich. Donna simply has a soft spot for Nan.

Recently, due to a flight delay, the women received travel vouchers from the airline. Because these vouchers are given to the traveler, not the person who purchased the ticket, Nan received her own and has decided to use it to take a trip with her husband.

Don’t you think it would have been a nice gesture for Nan to offer the voucher to my wife? I plan to discuss this with Donna and suggest she be less generous in the future. Tell me what you think before I pour salt in her wound.

— Don’t Walk On My Lady

Dear Don’t Walk: Yes, it would have been good manners for Nan to have offered the voucher to Donna, who then most likely would have refused to take it. Still, unless these treats are cutting into your budget, please don’t interfere in your wife’s personal choices. She will appreciate your trust in her decisions.

Adult children shouldn’t

be living with mom and dad

Dear Annie: This is in response to “Desperate in the City,” the 40-year-old woman still living at home and dating “Emil” for six years. He wouldn’t make a commitment, and she wanted to break it off but worried it would upset her parents.

Emil doesn’t want to commit to a loser – 40 years old and still mooching off her parents. You told this woman not to let her parents’ opinions dictate her happiness. What about her parents’ happiness? They’d probably love to get rid of her, and Emil was their only hope.

Please don’t print any more letters from adult children who are still living with their parents. It’s hard enough to get this generation out of the house, without you making it sound OK to stay.

— Colorado Mother

Dear Colorado: We don’t favor adult children living with Mom and Dad, but we don’t know this woman’s situation. She may be taking care of her parents physically or financially. And although you are right that many parents would love to get the kids out the door, not all parents feel that way. In any event, sticking with Emil is not the answer. If her parents really want her to marry, they need a guy who will pop the question.