Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I feel a little crazy writing to you. I always like to figure my problems out myself, but this time, I’d like another person’s point of view.

I married my high school sweetheart, and we have been together more than 15 years. “Steve” has a job where many women throw themselves at him. To my knowledge, he always has been faithful to me.

Recently, I’ve had an insecure feeling, and I don’t know why. Steve is an excellent father and a very good husband, and from what his friends say, he speaks highly of our marriage and of me when I’m not around. He is home any time he is not working.

The trouble is that I know some of the men he works with are unfaithful, and their wives are oblivious. So while I had no real reason to suspect him, I looked through Steve’s cell phone and found that he called a female during his work shift. I have seen her name on his list of missed calls more than once. I believe she is a co-worker on the same shift, but what if she’s not?

Steve never hides his cell phone, wallet or anything else from me. I know he wouldn’t appreciate my prying, because he’s done nothing to warrant it. I can’t ask him about the cell phone or he’ll know I snooped, but I don’t want to miss “the signs” and be taken for a fool. It would crush me if people were talking about me like they do some of the other wives.

— Insecurity Is Such a Lonely Word in Albany, N.Y.

Dear Albany : We would never discount your intuition, but your anxieties can be fueled when you are surrounded by tales of cheating husbands. You need to talk to Steve. Explain to him that you’ve been feeling a little insecure and you’d appreciate some reassurance. Ask him point-blank about the women he works with, and if Ms. Cell Phone’s name doesn’t pop up, it’s time to ‘fess up and discuss it.

Kids need separate rooms

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for one year. He has a daughter, 8, and a son, 10, and they share a bedroom. The kids each have a bed to themselves, but they see each other shower and change clothes.

I told my husband that this is not proper, that the children are too old for this behavior. I also said that in California they have a law about different-sex siblings sharing a room after a certain age. Am I wrong or is this all OK?

— Confused in L.A.

Dear Confused: If someone reported abuse between the children, the law would step in, but otherwise, nothing illegal is going on here. However, it certainly is not in the best interests of these children to have them share a bedroom. Both siblings deserve some privacy and should not be undressing in front of each other. Tell your husband it’s time they had separate space, even if that means rigging a sheet down the middle of the room.

Hates the prying questions

Dear Annie: I have a fabulous stepdaughter who is married to a man whose presence I simply can’t stand. This man talks and acts like a child, although he is 32, has an education and holds a steady job as a supervisor.

“Willard” asks inappropriate questions, such as, “If you’re lactose intolerant, what happens if you drink milk?” Or, “What tests did they do to diagnose your chronic medical problems?” I assure you he is not concerned for my health. He’s just curious.

I am very uncomfortable with the prying. Please advise a way to cope with this since I am forced to see him at least once a week.

— Disgusted by Him

Dear Disgusted: You don’t have to answer these questions simply because Willard is a member of the family. Say sweetly, “I’d rather not discuss such personal issues.” Repeat as often as necessary.