Fair warning - this is another column about Star Wars. Usually, I'm all positive, but today I fall squarely in the negative column. This is where I draw the line.

Sometimes I jokingly refer to Episodes 4 - 6 as "The Holy Trilogy" among sci-fimovie fans, but some guys and gals over in England have taken that just a bit too far. Scratch that, they've taken Star Wars fandom way, way too far.

They want to have Jedi declared an official religion in the United Kingdom.

No, I'm not making this up. Two folks over there, John Wilkinson and Charlotte Law, have actually sent a letter to the United Nations wanting them to recognize "Jedi" as an official religion. Said letter even goes so far as to request that the U.N. rename their "International Tolerance Day" to "Interstellar Tolerance Day."

Okay, you might not recognize those names. But that's understandable as the two have changed their names to Umada and Yunyun now that they're officially Jedi Knights. Guys, as one geek to another, PLEASE stop it, you're embarrassing me!

A Jedi Knight is a fictional rank in a fictional organization for fictional characters. One should no more base a religion on it, than they should base a religion on Harry Potter. Actually, maybe I should shut up before I give any Potter fans out there any crazy ideas. What am I saying? They're Potter fans - they're full of crazy ideas.

But I digress. My point here is that there are apparently enough people claiming Jedi as their religion in the U.K. that it had a slot on their census form.

A 2001 census in the U.K. showed that some 400,000 people "practice" the Jedi belief as their faith.

Wow. Just wow.

I wonder what services are like when you practice being a Jedi? Do you have lightsaber drills? Are they exercises in resisting the Dark Side of the Force? If you tithe faithfully, do you get more midichlorians?

Similarly, when you go to confession, do you have to talk about every time you did the Force choke move on some guy who was driving slower than light speed on the interstate?

Truthfully, I don't see how this religion will ever grow its base. Any Jedi worth his robes knows that one of the vows one must take to become a Jedi Knight is celibacy. Granted, for a lot of guys who are probably out there contemplating claiming this as their official religion that celibacy thing won't be too difficult - but still, it's going to put a crimp on 'generational growth' in Jedi congregations.

I suppose the Jedi Code certainly is a moral one - but it's also an impossible code to keep. The prequel trilogy is full of examples of where Anakin Skywalker or Obi-Wan Kenobi broke the code (usually for the good of the story, mind you) and we all know how close Luke Skywalker came to joining the Dark Side in Episode Six, don't we? When even your main characters can't stick to the rules, the rules are probably too hard to follow.

I know what you're saying. But, Scott, weren't there people in the Bible that couldn't keep the Ten Commandments? Well, sure, all of them as a matter of fact, fell short of the goal. That's why the Christian faith is about forgiveness.

When you mess up as a Jedi, you get cut in half with a lightsaber - if you're lucky. If you're unlucky, you get eaten by the Sarlacc pit monster or electrocuted. While it would be nice to get a tax break on that lightsaber I bought, I think I'll stick with Jesus.

After all, when He washed my sins away on the cross - He kicked them into hyperspace to a galaxy far, far away.

And that's some good news.

(Scott Baughman writes feature and enterprise stories for The Gaffney Ledger. You can contact him via e-mail at scottb@gaffneyledger.com)