Dear Annie: I have a 50-year-old single friend who visits us three or four times a year. "Sally" is a wonderful person and a good houseguest, except for one thing. The woman will not wash her hands. She takes a very quick shower in the morning, but for the rest of the day, her hands never see soap again. When she uses the bathroom, the most she will do is rinse the tips of her fingers for about three seconds.

After a day of shopping and then dinner, she won't wash her hands. I've seen Sally eat greasy burgers and pizza, and she will still come home, use the bathroom and go to bed. I've offered her antibacterial wipes, but she refuses. I know this sounds pretty mean, but I don't want someone in my kitchen handling food and putting ice in drinks when her hands aren't clean.

My doorknobs are actually slick from her dirty fingers. I'm sorry, but I am just disgusted with this lack of hygiene. What should I do? After she leaves, I have to wipe down every surface she's touched. I don't want her germs all over my house and dishes. Help.

- Disgusted in Peoria, Ill.

Dear Peoria: This isn't just disgusting, it's an infection waiting to happen. We assume you want to continue inviting Sally to your home, so you need to be more direct. Tell her that thoroughly washing one's hands with soap and water is the single most effective way to prevent colds and other viruses. Ask that she wash before preparing food or putting ice in your drink, and remind her. If she still refuses, give her disinfectant and paper towels and ask her to wipe down every surface she touches, or you'll be happy to reserve a room at a hotel for her. Enough already.

Funeral isn't appropriate

place to hand out invitations

Dear Annie: I was attending my sister's funeral yesterday when a young lady walked up to me at graveside and handed me an envelope. When I got home, I opened it to find an invitation to her wedding, which is two months away. This girl has a college degree. I was rather shocked to think someone with a good education could be so rude and ignorant. Getting my address would have been no problem.

Am I out of touch, or is this the latest trend?

- In Need of an Answer

Dear Need: Neither. A good education does not preclude someone being an ignorant boor. In case anyone else out there doesn't know better, a funeral is a solemn occasion and not an appropriate place to hand out party invitations of any kind.

22-year-old needs to grow up

Dear Annie: I'm responding to the letter from "Mrs. Robinson's Husband," who wrote that his son's 22- year-old friend was smitten with his wife. Your advice was a little too gentle. The young man was more than smitten. He had propositioned the wife. But then, the couple "just laughed it off" - giving the guy permission to keep trying.

The couple needs to firmly, but kindly, confront the young man (when he's sober) about his unacceptable and unwelcome behavior. They need to do this together, because this is not only a transgression against the wife. There also need to be immediate consequences. New boundaries are necessary, and the guy must commit to honor their requests. Only then can there be any chance of restoring the friendship and helping this guy grow up.

This may sound harsh, but it likely will nip his behavior in the bud. It could also save this guy a lot of future grief if he should stupidly proposition a woman with a jealous and dangerous husband.

- Older and Wiser in Kentucky

Dear Older and Wiser: We know a lot of readers will agree that your advice is better than ours. Thanks for the suggestions.