Is it hot in here or is it just me?

I don't begrudge Al Gore winning the Nobel Peace Prize (OK, maybe I do a little).

But, hey, ya gotta admit it was a stunner.

I mean c'mon, who saw this coming?

It's like you wake up one morning and the prize fairy has left a big giant "WELLWHADDYAKNOW" right there on your doorstep.

The former vice president wants to save us all from solar incineration. He believes there is a crisis being created by something called "global warming." Near as I can figure, this occurs when enormous amounts of carbon emissions from cars and planes and what not cause the planet to warm up.

I don't really understand how it all works but this is apparently what killed the dinosaurs. One day they were walking around minding their own business being all dinosaury-like and chasing cave men and the next they started jetting to the west coast in environmentally unfriendly private jets and taking carbon-spuming limos from the airport until the planet heated up and the next thing you know - POOF! - no more dinosaurs.

We are going to be next if we don't do something about all these poisons we are releasing into the atmosphere. You've got to admire the work of anyone who is helping to bring this dire situation to the attention of, well, all of us, so maybe we will change our lifestyles. I'm telling ya people, we've got to cut down on our reliance on fossil fuels or we're going to become fossils ourselves.

You tell 'em Al. I'm right there with ya, my brother.

But like I said, I was a little surprised to find that they give Nobel prizes for that sort of thing. Especially a Nobel PEACE PRIZE. I don't understand how bringing the issue of global warming to the world's attention does anything to promote or further the concept of peace. It promotes coolness. It might even promote refrigeration. But peace?

I mean, wouldn't telling people they are going to die from an overheated planet just make them more irritable and put them in worse moods than they're already in, which, in turn, would probably cause them to be less peaceful? If you are hot and sticky, you are usually in a bad mood anyway and then, if someone comes up and says, "Hey buddy, the reason you're so hot and sticky is because of global warming and we're all doomed," wouldn't that just make you want to chuck the whole dadgum be-nice-to-your-neighbor way of thinking. There's nothing like informing someone of imminent disaster to make them more peaceful.

THIRD WORLD COUNTRY WARLORD: "Well that's just great (HEAVY SARCASM HERE). I was going to cut back on the plundering and pillaging and maybe stop hanging so many people and I was even going to disband the firing squad and release some prisoners, but dang it, now they tell me there's this global warming thing and we're all going to die anyway, so I might as well just go ahead and kill 'em before they spontaneously combust."

There's really nothing more dangerous than annoying a hot and sweaty warlord.

So see, it would be, you know, like LESS PEACE instead of more peace?

Shouldn't Al Gore have won the Nobel Prize For Really Hot Weather Notification?

I am not poking fun of the dangers of global warming. I'm just saying who would have thought there would be a Nobel prize for that sort of thing. But, hey, more power to 'em. I'm all in favor of doing whatever it takes to help save the planet and if that means I've got to drive one of those foot-powered Fred Flintstone-mobiles, then I'll do it as long as everyone else does.

Yabba-dabba-do, y'all.

Hey, I'm feeling cooler already.

Klonie Jordan (editor@gaffneyledger.com) is executive editor of The Gaffney Ledger.