Ha, ha, ha ... you lost to a girl

The month of March involves leprechauns, honors the contributions of women, makes us aware of the dangers of colon cancer and a number of other things.

But right now, the one thing on everyone's mind is March Madness - the mad dash toward the NCAA Basketball Tournament.

I will not delve too far into the sports issue due to the possibility of being censored by my editor, but I have come to the conclusion that it's not necessarily the surprises in the opening rounds of the tournament that make this month one that could turn a regular person insane.

Rather, the madness is due to people finding themselves with empty pockets at the end of the month due to investing in brackets only God Himself could predict.

Millions made their way to the office Thursday, some here in this same office where I am writing this column.

Most years at this time I would go ahead and pay for a whole pack of paper just to print out close to 100 brackets so people could match wits with me and a host of other people for cold, hard cash.

I like to consider myself a creature of habit. But in this case, my habits were forced to change.

This year, I chose to pick for the purpose of simply being right, making me feel so much better because I know no money will be lost on my end.

I have a number of things on my plate already - mostly bills, bills and more bills.

But I place primary blame for my decision on the taste I had in my mouth following an office contest during bowl season.

Let's just say I was out of the game by the middle of the season. Of course, others would soon follow before we had a winner.

It is okay to get whipped in any type of game. After all, it is all fun. But I had never been whipped in this fashion - that is because it was by a woman.

Ask virtually any man whether they should lose to a woman in anything - from Monopoly to a weight lifting contest - and they will tell you that it is not supposed to happen.

But in this case, all the men were pawns to this lady who handed us our hind ends on a silver platter. I had never before been so embarrassed.

It hurts to this day, especially when I just recently told my fiancee where the $10 went.

"You lost the money... usually that is something you win. Who did you lose to?" she said.

When I told her I lost to a female, the stern look on her face turned into a smile followed by a roar of laughter.

"Ha, ha, ha... you lost to a girl," she said.

I still do not know which was more painful, the loss of $10 or losing to a girl. But such confusion led me to make a pact to myself that I would not put myself in this position again.

Bowl season was January. I had enough time to recover financially and emotionally since that time and was especially amped when brackets and everyone's picks were announced on Sunday.

However, seeing the brackets on television led my lady to ask me whether I would go against my word and enter myself into a pool.

"Are you going to do it?... I know you are thinking about it," she said.

At that moment, I really began to ponder whether it was a good idea. Could I make at least an extra $100 without having to punch the clock? In my eyes, that is pretty good.

But my conscience was telling me "no" and I assured her that I was sticking to my word.

"Good, for a second I thought you were going to jump into the pool," she said.

Nah, I won't be getting wet this time. My pride is too valuable to lose.

Joe L. Hughes II (joe@gaffneyledger.com) writes feature and enterprise stories for The Gaffney Ledger.