LEDGER COLUMNIST

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me three times and I guess that makes me a COMPLETE idiot.

Several months or maybe a year or more ago, representatives from a certain telecommunications company came by the office for what they described as a "courtesy" call to inquire about their company's service.

Turns out, the courtesy call was a ruse to get in the door to make a sales pitch, which intrigued me because it sounded too good to be true.

After checking my last bill, these "courtesy callers" informed me I was eligible for significant savings if I would just change my plan and sign on for two more years.

"What's the catch?" I asked.

They assured me there was no catch. I would save about 30 percent on my monthly bill and get a whole bunch of extra features.

Although I remained skeptical, I signed up for their new plan and waited for the savings to show up on my next bill.

When it arrived in the mail the following month, I opened it like a kid opening his first present on Christmas morning. I LOVE to save money!

When I saw the AMOUNT DUE, my excitement faded faster than a punctured balloon deflates.

Instead of saving 30 percent, there was a 50 percent increase over the previous month's bill.

After numerous calls to CUSTOMER SERVICE, in which I heard every explanation in their "How to Handle Irate Customers" manual, I gave up and called someone I know in the Upstate office of this particular business.

It wasn't easy, but he resolved the issue and put me back on the plan I was on before I began "saving" money with the new plan.

About six months later, I got a call from a representative of the same company explaining how I could save 30 percent just by extending my plan, which by the way, didn't expire for 18 months.

I explained to her what happened the last time I was promised "savings" and was assured there was no catch with this offer.

Against my better judgment, I agreed and Tqua (her real name and it's spelled correctly because I asked her) asked if she could record the confirmation.

"Sure, you can, but just for the record, I'm going to record it, too."

She read over what I had agreed to and we both recorded the conversation.

When I received the bill that was supposed to show a 30 percent savings, guess what?

You got it. About a 50 percent increase. Incensed, I called CUSTOMER SERVICE and demanded corrective action. I have to say, I never did lose my temper, but I was firm. After numerous calls and callbacks, their 'mistake' was rectified and I was put back on my old plan.

I've heard that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If so, I must be crazy, because just last month, I agreed to another form of savings from the same company.

The pitch was different and it was good.

"Mr. Sossamon, we have been reviewing our contracts and have found that The Gaffney Ledger is eligible for savings that you are not currently receiving. All you have to do is agree to our new billing process and you save about 15 percent, plus you'll get some added features."

I made it perfectly clear that I was not agreeing to change my plan and asked her to say so during the portion of the conversation that WE recorded. I even requested that she say how much my bill would be. I got her full name and phone number.

I made her swear on the Bible that I would save money. (Not really, but I wanted to.)

Monday, I got my first bill since agreeing to the savings. Fifty percent higher.

Garrett in CUSTOMER SERVICE explained it like all the others had and when I didn't go for it, he used the clincher. "The change occurred in the middle of the billing cycle, so you're paying for more than one month."

I politely informed him that his figures did not add up and I wanted everything back the way it was. He discounted a portion of the bill and said that next month's would be significantly lower, so the total for the two months would be the same as if I had never changed.

He ended by using the same line they all do: "Have I resolved the issue to your satisfaction?"

"I'll let you know when I get my next bill," I told him.

I know none of you would fall for any offers like these, but take it from me, you can't afford those kind of savings.

Cody Sossamon (cody@gaffneyledger.com)

is publisher of The Gaffney Ledger.