Who among us hasn't had 'stress-induced amnesia'?

This one is from the "You don't really expect me to believe that, do you?' file:

"Al Parish, a former economics professor at the school who was known for loud sports coats and a Web site that depicted him in superhero costume, pleaded guilty in October to federal charges of fraud and lying to investigators," the Associated Press reported.

"Parish claimed he had amnesia when authorities announced their investigation in April. A psychiatrist told authorities Parish's condition was stressinduced but also said that his memory improved after he learned amnesia was not a defense to his charges."

On second thought, maybe this guy's amnesia was for real. After all, I've suffered from some of those bouts of "stressinduced amnesia."

It started when I was just a young chap. You probably had it, too.

It usually manifested itself when my mother or dad confronted me about something that had been broken, spilled or other similar catastrophes that occur in all households in which small children live.

'"HOW'D THAT HAPPEN?" one of my stern-faced parents would ask.

Being afraid to lie about it or too scared to admit to the 'crime,' I'd answer with that time-tested alibi: "I don't remember."

My wily oldest sister Kit never suffered from 'stressinduced amnesia." She was always thinking one-step ahead of her accusers and while I won't say she ever told a lie, she was very adept at shifting blame - usually to our middle sibling, Polly.

The time she caught the 'back field' on fire comes to mind. Of course I was too young to remember (youngage related amnesia), but I've heard the story enough to know most of the details.

The 'back field' was a vacant lot behind our house at 308 E. Fairview Avenue. Kit, Polly and a friend of Kit's (either Patsy Lee Smiley or Judy Sanders Nix) were playing with matches and a fire erupted. Kit and Patsy (or Judy) told Polly to stay there while they went for help.

If not for an alert babysitter who was watching me in the house, Polly might not be with us today.

She was an innocent bystander, but got the blame for the fire for weeks before the truth finally came out.

When first confronted about it, Kit and Patsy (or Judy) pointed to Polly.

All kids have used the 'stress-induced amnesia' defense, so don't dare say you never did. And remember that when your kids do the same thing.

As grownups, we fall back into our childish ways, at times, and think we can weather a storm by using that old standby, 'I don't remember,' when trying to get out of a trap set by our spouses.

For instance, how many of you women out there have, when confronted about some charge on the credit card statement, said "I don't remember"?

And husbands.

No doubt about it, we're much more susceptible to stress-induced amnesia than are women.

"Didn't you promise to help me around the house today?" the little woman asks as we're headed out on a bright, sunny Saturday morning, golf clubs in hand.

Uh, oh. Think quick, our tiny little brains say.

"I don't remember saying that and I promised the guys I'd complete their foursome. I'll mess it up for all of them if I don't show."

There are many, many more examples of how we've all suffered from stress-induced amnesia, so let's not be too quick to jump at the conclusion that the good professor mentioned above was conveniently forgetting what he had done when being quizzed by investigators.

Ledger editor Klonie Jordan said he got it the other day when his wife found those new golf clubs (oops, how did those get there?) in his car.

Cody Sossamon (cody@gaffneyledger.com)

is publisher of The Gaffney Ledger.