LEDGER COLUMNIST

Some pigs may look better in lipstick.

While I don't really have a horse in the presidential race, so to speak, I never bought recent contentions by one candidate that a "lipstick on a pig" comment by the other candidate really was a direct slap in the face to a certain female vice presidential candidate.

"That's like putting lipstick on a pig" is just an expression, you see, a comment about an obvious distraction from reality. Claiming the comment was something it wasn't might be considered "lipstick on a pig" itself.

While I refuse to "google" the origins of the phrase, I'm pretty sure it's at least applied every day of the week even when it isn't spoken.

The advertisement for the pine-scented cleaner says a lot about the smell, but in the end you're still using it to clean toilets. What about lauding the roominess of a large SUV in this time of sky-high gas prices and empty gas stations?

Or what about leaving your Christmas lights up yearround and claiming they're Halloween lights in October, Thanksgiving lights in November, and Fourth of July lights in July. That might fit the definition, too.

Puffery? Yes.

Lipstick on a pig? Perhaps a light shade of red.

You probably don't have to look far or hard to find other examples.

Think about it for a moment, and you could probably name dozens of things that really are one thing but sold as another due to some glossy terms or dazzling distractions.

And I'm of the firm belief that you know lipstick on a pig when you see it.

Of course, in deference to those who feel Barack Obama really was slighting the hockey mom governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, it's true that a lipstick on a pig comment can be hurtful in some instances.

A story I've heard time and again from some old coworkers detailed how a certain baseball player since disgraced and banned from the Hall of Fame once used the phrase to completely crush one of the nicest guys and his biggest fans alive.

It seems this batting superstar known for his "hustle" had come up to my old hometown one year for a winter show, and when it came time to answer some press questions, this player decided to single out a reporter from my old paper who, as fate would have it, wasn't blessed with the figure of a Greek god.

Many old-school newspaper reporters, like me, who happen to spend most of their time at their desks with an IV tube dripping coffee, are in the same boat.

But besides his physical proportions, my old co-worker also unfortunately decided to wear what some described as a beret sort-of hat in going to meet and greet his sports idol as a member of the 4th estate.

This certain baseball player, I was told, who never was at a loss for some caustic jabs, apparently singled out my old co-worker's hat and proportions and then let loose with the "lipstick on a pig" comment, much to the amusement of some but not to the one who was the butt of the somewhat mean-spirited joke.

So I guess you have to consider the context in which "lipstick on a pig" is used before jumping to conclusions.

But, then again, I heard it really was an ugly hat.

I've likely put lipstick on the proverbial pig a few times myself.

I've been happy on the golf course when a horrific slice from my driver happens to find the fairway after a bounce back from the woods. The execution stinks, but the end results are acceptable.

I always like to say the scorecard doesn't record what the shot looked like, but I know deep down I still look like a caveman swinging a stone club.

I've also been happy when my New Year's resolution to lose weight works at all. A pound is better than none, so I accomplish my goal and quit.

But perhaps pigs are getting a bad rap in the whole debate.

The "other white meat" really does have a lot going for it.

And while I generally save a "full" breakfast meal for the weekends any more, I can't think of a better way to start the day than some eggs (kudos to the chicken) and a nice ham steak or some sizzling bacon.

And while the "lipstick on a pig" phrase assumes people find pigs ugly, I dare you to pick up a piglet and not think it's cute.

Razorbacks, the actual hogs and not the Arkansas fans, on the other hand, do leave a lot to be desired in the looks department, though, so maybe a few coats of lip gloss wouldn't be out of the question.

So if you think you see lipstick on a pig, try wiping it off before you decide if it really does make the pig look better.

You may find that some pigs do, indeed, look better with lipstick after all.