Three dollars worth of invisible inspiration
LEDGER COLUMNIST
Scott POWELL LEDGER STAFF WRITER
Inspiration often appears in mysterious ways.

This time it came in a bottle.

Dressed in a fancy Western suit and top hat, a carnival barker spent an entire weekend peddling his wares on a convention floor in Indianapolis. He promised a sneak view of the "Queen of Fiji" hidden carefully inside a box in a small curtained room.

Mystery cards and small glass bottles lined a small area next to the stage in this Halloween-themed event. I bought a bottle of "Inspiration" for $3.

The carnival barker was one of 80 vendors in the dealers room for this year's Horror Hound convention. It is one of many conventions held in the U.S. where fans of Halloween and scary movies go to meet the faces behind the monsters and the screams.

Two years ago, I met the man who played the villain "Jason" in several Friday the 13th movies. My buddy was only happy to inform me a few minutes later that Jason was staying in our hotel at the "Horrorfind" convention.

This inspired me to write a column called "I met Jason and lived to tell about it" that was published in this newspaper.

I returned from my latest adventure with my own bottle of inspiration. It comes courtesy of the carnival barker and is equipped with its own instructional manual.

The label reads - "Inspiration - One Use Only. Directions for Use: Brake paper seal, uncork bottle, inhale deeply... Become INSPIRED!"

A white strip above the cork firmly tells the owner not to open the bottle if the seal is broken. This suggests any damage before opening could result in no inspiration when the bottle is finally used.

My "Inspiration" is sitting next to my new computer as I write this.

I have not opened the bottle.

I suspect there is nothing inside this "Inspiration."

I have inspected the bottle several times and can't seem to find any liquid, particles or other unworldly specimens floating about. When I asked the seller if I could use the inspiration bottle more than once, he politely informed me it is a one-time deal.

This reminds me of the classic vaudeville theater I saw recently in the excellent "Sweeney Todd" musical starring Johnny Depp.

In the movie, sharp con men on street corners promised the cleanest shave possible and magic tricks to defy belief.

I think someone forgot to print the words "SUCKER" in bold letters on my inspiration bottle.

This cheap glassware has already served its purpose, even if I never break the seal on the bottle to inhale some inspired thoughts to curb the dreaded return of writer's block.

This bottle of nothingness has already inspired me to write the column you are reading. I wrote it three days after returning from what one office wag called "Freddy's House" on the sign-in/sign-out board by the official work time clock.

The carnival barker has moved onto another town and a convention.

There is a sucker born every minute of every day, just waiting to be had.

I do not know this guy's name. I think I will probably remember his face.

If our paths ever cross again, I will quickly thank him for his small role in providing me with the bottle of "Inspiration."

Then I'm going to demand my three bucks back.

Scott Powell (spowell@gaffneyledger.com) covers education issues for The Gaffney Ledger.