Did you ever really take notice of the commercials while you're watching television?

About the only time I normally pay attention is during the Super Bowl, when companies spend millions per minute to grab your attention with some of the funniest ads of the year. I never feel compelled to run out to grab the beer or nacho chips they're hawking, but I laugh nonetheless.

The vast majority of the time, however, I use those two- or three-minute interruptions in shows or sporting events to channel-flip or run to the fridge. Since I think I'm a typical guy, I'm likely not alone in this.

One weekend recently, though, I had nothing on my plate and the to-do list was blank. So I vowed to be nothing but a couch potato for an entire weekend.

I ultimately was so lazy that I didn't even bother to flip channels during the commercials. (The remote was just out of reach, you see, and I'd have to get off the couch.)

So I was forced to watch them.

Ad gurus put a lot of thought and effort into making sure their ads reach the right audience. They generally know who watches what shows.

Some shows are followed more by women. Some shows are followed more by men. Some shows attract an older audience. Some shows attract a younger audience. Some shows attract the more affluent.

Some shows attract those with more meager means.

The ads you see during the shows you watch, presumably, might say a lot about you.

Unfortunately, the ads I watched during my weekend of admitted sloth really put me in an introspective state.

While watching hours of professional golf coverage, for instance, I found myself bombarded with adverts for male enhancement, prostate medication, financial services and upscale cars.

Apparently people who watch professional golf generally must have physical trouble south of their border and don't know what to do with their money other than pile it in the trunks of their cars.

And while watching some late-night cable channels that admittedly tend to attract the nerdier set, (yes, me included), I was bombarded with ads for 1-800- something numbers through which you can "connect" with hot local singles, cell phone plans that require no contract and no credit checks, minimum coverage auto insurance and ads for cars you can put in your driveway for just dollars a day.

This led me to the conclusion that you must be lonely if you stay up late to watch television and have such bad finances that even a financial advisor doesn't want to touch you with a 10-foot pole.

In truth, the differences in the ads between the two television watching experiences were at polar opposites of the viewing spectrum.

But what if they were right in targeting me?

If they were, I shuddered, would I really know what to say to the hot local single at the other end of the 1- 800-something number since I hadn't yet talked to my doctor about whether or not I really had south of the border problems and I still hadn't found a financial advisor who could juggle the math to determine if I should aim for the luxury car or settle for the cheap car deal with all the fine print?

What's a guy to do?

For now, I'll just ignore the ad dilemma by admitting that I have varied tastes in television and you can consider me a veritable Renaissance man of a couch potato who can always find something to watch even when there's nothing worth watching.

Plus, it's actually a rarity anymore that I can be a couch potato in the first place, so what most people have seen two or three times in re-runs is usually a first run for me.

So until next time, I'll just take solace in the facts that I don't have any of the symptoms that would make me run to a doctor to ask about the latest pharmaceutical advances and that my car doesn't need to be replaced just yet.

But what was that pine-scented floor cleaner I just saw advertised? I could use that.

And pizza that tastes like delivery, straight from the fridge. Holy cow!

And look at that juicer. A whole day's worth of fruits and vegetables in one tasty glass of frothy brown or green liquid! What will they think of next?

Holy smokes. That bleach didn't fade the color of those clothes!

And look at that. That lady had the worst split ends I ever saw and that shampoo took them all out.

Abracadabra! That vacuum has no trouble going around corners and under tables because it rolls on a ball!

Uh oh. Now they're advertising burgers. Boy they look good. Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. How can life get any better than that?

Oh, I know how.

I'm thinking of a bologna with both a first and second name.

And why do I have that jingle in my head? Oh well, like I was saying, I don't normally pay attention to commercials.