KLONIE JORDAN — Executive Editor (editor@gaffneyledger.com) There are a number of important lessons that we, as Americans, should try to learn. And one of them is the value of a dollar, which, according to the most recent exchange rate information available, is approximately $42.70 in Japan.

It takes a whole lot more dollars nowadays than it used to in order to buy the finer things in life.

The rising cost of, well, pretty much everything has never been more evident than right now. And by “everything,” I mean, for example, gasoline. I know, I know, gasoline is not nearly as expensive as it was a couple of years ago when we all thought it might get to $4 a gallon. Still, in a great country like ours, we should never have to pay more than, say, 78 cents a gallon for petro. It just ain’t right.

The way I see it, we have the Constitutional right to:

1.) Own big, heavy, expensive gas-guzzling vehicles; and,

2.) Moderate to cheaply priced fuel for those vehicles.

If we cannot have these two things, then what was the whole point of Washington crossing the Mississippi? Why did Abraham Lincoln lead the Rough Riders? Why did the Wright brothers bother inventing electricity?

I was reminded recently about how incredibly expensive our lives are these days.

Occasionally I enjoy a getaway to a nice golf resort, a place where the telephone assigned to your room isn’t of the pay variety and isn’t located out in the hall and you don’t have to share a bathroom with your neighbors. I occasionally enjoy staying at a hotel where the remote control for the television isn’t super-glued to the nightstand and the mint they leave on your pillow is in fact a real mint and not a fat, round cockroach.

So I called one of those fancy places last week, not so much to check on playing golf as just allowing me and the missus to get away for some peace and quiet at a place where the buzzing of the “vacancy” sign outside your window doesn’t keep you awake.

The lady who answered the phone explained that there are several different kinds of “packages” available, all of which offer one or more varieties of recreation and relaxation.

And all costing, as my daddy used to put it, “way up there in the hundreds of dollars.”

So I listened intently, becoming more and more interested as she waxed eloquent (and if you’ve ever waxed eloquent, you know exactly how pleasant that can be, not to mention how smooth it can make your upper lip) about the sterling accommodations and amenities. Then she started quoting prices and my level of excitement decreased with every dollar figure she spouted. I sat there in disbelief.

Finally, she was finished.

“Well?” she asked, as if expecting me to tell her to go ahead and sign me up for a week or two. “Sure lady,” I thought sarcastically. “Oh yeah, and throw in some extra caviar and Dom.”

But instead, being the quick-witted and sometimes obnoxious person that I am, I used a line I heard one time during a stellar standup routine.

“Ma’am?” I asked.

“Yes?” she asked back.

“Those prices sound a little high. You do understand I’m bringing my own woman, right?”

There was silence for a few seconds and then — “click.”

So there you go.

Looks like our relaxing getaway won’t include any fancy mints on our pillows.

Just Tom Bodett leaving the light on for us.